thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
