escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize