watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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