eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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