my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
