We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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