I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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