Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
