Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
