come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
4 words: hood of his car
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize