and she was petting her beer can
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
