with your own penis?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
