my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
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