I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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