i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.