U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
