as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
