I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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