Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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