I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
