Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
