I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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