We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
