this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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