'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
