I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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