Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.