Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
