my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
