just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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