I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
