I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
