Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
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