marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
