you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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