just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
