The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
