I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
