Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
