its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
