She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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