If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
