Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
