so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
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