so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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