so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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