I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
