He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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