I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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