I looked at my own cervix.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
