I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
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And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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