i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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