Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
