week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
