Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
