Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
