i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
