What tipped you off? The sombrero?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize