I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
