it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
