hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
