And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize